Akuma no Ko – Ai Higuchi

The iron bullet is the proof of justice

Once it pierces, you get acquainted with heroism

If you close those eyes and touch & see

You’ll find a demon of the same shape, the same temperature

I’m no good but the person over there’s good?

Even though it’s but that wall that was there *suggesting the wall separates them*

Do not lament the fate we were born with

For we are all free!

If like a bird, I had wings.

I could go anywhere but

If there is no place for us to return to

then surely

we cannot go anywhere either

I don’t want to live just to live

The world is cruel

Even so I will love you

If I must sacrifice everything

Even so, I will protect you

Even if I am wrong

I will not doubt

because righteousness is believing in yourself…

The spectacle of iron rain falling & dispersing

looked like a movie on TV

Something like war is a foolish atrocity

It’s the story of some irrelevant, unheard of country

So then why do I loathe him

I can’t even explain why I can’t hide this dark emotion

We are creatures full of nothing but contradictions!

If you translate these words, the true meaning cannot be conveyed

I only believe the world that those eyes open to touch

I don’t want to live just to live…

The world is cruel

Even so I will love you

If I must sacrifice everything

Even so, I will protect you

The shadow of the person/people I chose

The corpses of the things I threw away

I realized—what I’d been nurturing inside is the child of evil

Under the surface of my “justice,” at the core of my sacrifices

In my heart, there is a child of evil…

Translated by Yaa

Whew— this is a deep one. I will say I never actually watched Attack on Titan (the anime that this song is for). Actually, that’s a lie—I tried and got through maybe 4 minutes of episode 1, but it just didn’t keep my attention 😭. But recently, against my will, I have become privy to essentially the whole plot through Insta reels, lol. And I do feel a bit annoyed about it because it actually sounds like a good story, but the big plot twist has slightly been ruined for me 🥲.

Anywho, from what I gathered from the story, I felt that this song was truly a good fit for the narrative and the protagonist. I don’t think we need to know the story to delve into the setting of the lyrics, though. The themes revolve around this inherent darkness in humanity, the hypocrisy of separating one as good and another as bad, and projecting evil as something strictly outside of oneself while simultaneously embodying it. All the while, a pulse of beauty runs through the lyrics: a resounding wish for life to feel like life. For life to not feel lifeless. To live for something—the gag is, life can only feel riveting through the trifling and the lighter moments,when we have some conviction, some purpose, something that we would not mind losing our own lives for. For some, reading that may have made you pause like, “Whoa. Intense.” Yeah, of course it is. I think many of us are cut off from our desires. It’s not as though we don’t have the willpower, but we don’t know enough—whether about ourselves or the opportunities the world has to offer—to know what path we ought to embrace.And I think these lyrics represent a bit of the restlessness that comes with that through the rejection of wanting to live just to live. Subsequently, choosing sacrifice and acceptance of current circumstances, while resolving to impact the future in a way that aligns with one’s values despite what may be lost, is a choice that commands respect. Choosing to love and protect in a cruel world simply because one thinks it is right, regardless of external circumstances,is admirable. It’s the type of strength that I think comes with knowing one’s purpose and committing to one’s path. However, it also acknowledges how that may appear, and honestly, what sometimes comes with that strong conviction: this idea of nurturing a child of evil. I think this concept can be broken down in different ways. On one hand, it is true that with such strong conviction, it is difficult not to offend and, in a sense, not be seen as ruthless. On the other hand, sometimes we fall into the illusion of self-righteousness, forcing our idea of justice on others. It’s a tricky thing because, at the end of the day, there will always be an element of asserting one’s worldview of justice in an effort to progress toward a better world. Is it wrong? Is it right? Who is to say. But I think this lyricist would say it doesn’t matter. After all, righteousness is simply to believe in yourself and thus believe in your path.